A Need For Needless Restriction

So I have all kinds of rules for my blogging.

I can't blog two nights in a row, it doesn't matter how insightful I think I am in the moment, I'll just look way too nerdy and obsessed with my blog.

But I am really nerdy and obsessed with my blog, and I should be myself and own what I am, so that isn't really a good reason. So we'll chalk it up to I'm trying a "moderation in all things except Diet Dr. Pepper," and that's why I can't blog two nights in a row.

I can't blog too extensively about what is actually going on in my life--I can spend at max two paragraphs describing a concrete experience that has happened in the past week, but other than that no go.

Which is kind of weird since storytelling is one of my favorite things to do, I don't know how many times I've girded up my pretension and scolded the person I've been talking to (or at) for interrupting the 'narrative flow.'

But yeah that's a rule because if I obsess too much over what is happening in my day I'll just get dragged down by the minutia and be yet another whiny blogger.

Also in those two paragraphs that I am allotted, I'm not allowed to talk about anything big that is bugging me. Because it probably won't bug me tomorrow and once again we've accidentally returned to the same page of my own choose-your-own-adventure book, the page that says "you're a ridiculous whiny blogger."

And if it still is bugging me the next day? Then I should have probably kept my mouth shut, because if anything affects me for more than 24 hours then that means it's an actual big deal, and blogging about it where the wrong person could read it would look accidentally passive aggressive.

Wow, accidentally passive aggressive? Has that ever been achieved before or am I just that uniquely neurotic?

Related to the limit personal experiences rule is the rule about discussing one's "feelings." This is a huge no-no.

I am allowed be incredibly passionate about an inanimate object, such as the James Dean cardboard cutout or my lovesac (or as Jordan accidentally dubbed it, the "mansac," longer funnier story that doesn't fit into my parameters of no sharing real stories), but feelings towards people or about myself? Ewww.

And I don't think that one really even needs an explanation for that rule. Except that I'll explain it anyway: Introspective feelings or reactions to people are frequently fleeting and always an unoriginal way to express oneself. It's all about showing who you are through oblique rants, not by actually telling everyone on the internets how you feel. For that would be too easy. And it would have the horrible side effect of making my posts much much shorter.

I think that's it for the rules I have, but there are a few principles that are a little sticky as well.

Such as the principle that telling everyone to read your blog is lame, but then again so is posting blogs that no one reads. That should be in every student's Intro to Philosophy textbook. We would call it the Shurtz Paradox. People could write term papers on what they think should ethically be done about it. I'll probably just give in to the need for approval and put it as my status on facebook that people should read my blog.

I am so pathetic. But at least I'm self-aware of how sad my state is. Somehow that must be better than being unaware of my social suicide. Suicide of any kind should have some real pondering behind it.

I am feeling an intense resentment toward all rock formations right now, hopefully that'll go away soon considering the landscape of Provo, UT, but if it doesn't and you hear some rumblings coming from Squaw Peak that's just Mary and her tiny fists of fury taking care of some unfinished business with those bloody mountainous masses.

Geology exams suck.